Monday, October 31, 2016

Trick er Treat

Halloween has changed over the years, going from a kid holiday to more of an adult holiday.  But, little kids that can barely say "trickertreet" will be out there. The eye holes on their costumes are too small and they often trip because their costumes are too long.  Slow down if you're on the road and for god sake mom don't make your kid wear a coat over his costume.  Making kids wear coats over their costumes will make them become retarded and no one wants that.  If you have older kids and that carton of eggs you could swear you bought disappears tonight, well just let it be and don't ask any questions.

If you have any four legged friends, keep in mind Halloween is baffling to them.  We used to have a golden retriever who loved to get dressed up in costume and go trick or treating (and he got a lot of treats). that said, for most dogs all these people coming to the door is baffling and if your dog must be in costume, keep eye holes really really big.  Dogs are claustrophobic to a bit.  They don't like to feel confined.  And realize once fido understands it's okay for people to come to the house he'll be okay (ha).

Oh, those Butterfingers and Kit Kats are yummy.  Some of that cheap crap, not so much.  And bake your apples into a pie--kids don't want them.

And Linus will be hanging out in the pumpkin patch waiting for the Great Pumpkin to come and visit. If that ain't a reason to avoid wild mushrooms I don't know what is. And Charlie Brown will get rocks in his bag--that's mean.

Have fun and Happy Halloween


Sunday, October 30, 2016

Can you spare some money, asshole?

Bums–they’re everywhere.  I cringe every time I see people give them money. In Tucson they love to beg for cash in the center mediums at intersections. It violates a city ordinance, but little is done to enforce it.  

Here’s my problem. If they really are vagrants with cardboard signs begging for help, giving them money will only buy more booze or drugs and will do nothing to help them. On the other hand, a lot of these folks are not what they seem.  I’ve watched them for years, both in Arizona and back in Colorado.  They often have shifts. Good intersection, when it’s time for one bum to go home another shows up with his cardboard sign to relive him.  This is a lot more organized than people seem to realize.

Hey, just this past week I watched one guy take clean clothes off in a wooded area, put on filthy cloths, put the clean stuff in a backpack, hide said backpack, and head off to beg for money.  As I said, these guys are not what they appear.  This would stop tomorrow if people stopped giving them money.  They should fine the donor. But that’ll never happen.







Thursday, October 27, 2016

It's almost here! Yay!

I've written before about Halloween, including dogs and Halloween, decorations and some other topics.  I seem to recall being dragged to church one Halloween and being forced to bob for apples. That's where they put a bunch of apples in a bucket of water and your're supposed to grab one with just your teeth--and keeping your hands behind your back.  So you've got your head immersed in a bucket of saliva and germs trying to grab an apple that's too big for your mouth.  Talk about gross.


Tuesday, October 25, 2016

behind the gym

Apparently, our vice president wants to take Mr. Trump behind the gym.  Trump says he'd welcome it.  So, gentlemen, do it.  Heck, I'd pay cash money to see it.

Sunday, October 23, 2016

Halloween Decor

I live in a gated community.  I'm new here inTucson and this will be my first Halloween around these parts.  I've noticed some folks are decorating their houses to a level that's equal to Christmas with orange and purple lights and skeletons and tombstones, etc.  Didn't see much of that in the mountains of Colorado. I doubt my house will see much action, as there just aren't any kids around. So, I went to my father, who also lives in Tucson and asked him to let me decorate his house.  To my surprise, he agreed.  So, I've spent the weekend putting up lights and spider webs and ghosts and getting the jack o'lanterns just so.  Damn, it was like I was ten again.  It was really fun.  I thought the place looked wonderful. On my way home, I noticed one of his neighbors had done a much better job that I had.   Their house was amazing.   It was beautiful and scary at the same time. Argh! 






Thursday, October 20, 2016

Gone [Went] Fishing

I've been away from the internet the past three days as I went on a fishing trip. "How was your trip?" My neighbor asked upon my return. "Awful," said I.   It was cold and windy and I didn't catch any fish. 

And, of course, what if it's the fish who put up all of those no fishing signs?

Not much stranger than my contradictory theory that fish actually know it's a lure they're going after and do so anyway--fish suicide,  I've written about it before.

Sunday, October 16, 2016

Halloween Haunts

I've mentioned Halloween Haunts before.  Members of the Horror Writers Association post essays and stories about Halloween. Mine appears today.  Just click on the picture and you should be directed there.  If that doesn't work for some reason the actual link is;
http://horror.org/halloween-haunts-story-idea-stupid-david-b-riley/


Thursday, October 13, 2016

J A Campbell Interview

Colorado author J. A. Campbell stops by this blog for a short interview about her new collection of stories in Brown: Ghost Hunting Dog volume 2.

DBR Brown, she’s not from around here is she? What time period does she live in?

JAC  Brown’s stories come to us from the early 1900’s and take place predominantly in the American west, but occasionally she ventures east.

DBR What made you want to do another Brown collection?
JAC Honestly, I kept getting asked for one by fans. They come to my table at conventions and ask for another collection, so I figured I should oblige.

DBR Why ghosts?  Why not zombies or criminals?
JAC Brown has a way with ghosts, and enjoys fighting them. It’s that border collie eye. Also the first anthology invite that inspired her stories was a ghost story anthology. However, she’s helped put a few criminals away too, usually at a ghost’s request. Zombies . . . well . . . she hasn’t encountered them yet, but maybe someday.

DBR What does it take to make a dog character believable?
JAC  You have to do just enough humanization that people can relate with the character, but also add in enough dog, that the character is believable. Think about how dogs experience the world . . . through their noses. Scents are super important to include if you’re writing from a dog’s POV, along with keeping in mind that they will understand some things quite well, perhaps better than a human would, and others not very well at all.

DBR Brown’s one weakness is Elliott, her human.  Do we learn anything new about him this time around?
JAC  I feel like Elliott has grown a bit as a character through the stories. He’s more confident in his abilities and he and Brown’s reputation. However, I don’t feel like there are any startling revelations about his character in this book, other than that he’s turned into an all around decent guy. He used to be something of a con artist.

DBR What’s your favorite Brown tale?
JAC   That’s a tough one. Even though there aren’t ghosts in it, I think Brown vs. the Martians is my favorite published tale. My other favorite is Brown in Allosaurus Wrecks. It has a ghost in it. A very large one. This story isn’t in the upcoming collection. It’s due to be published in a weird western anthology in July.


DBR Did Brown really save earth from Martian invaders in vol 1? Any other take offs from ghosts in volume 2?
JAC Yes, Brown really saved earth from the Martians. She even went to space to rescue her human and a Plutonian. In this collection, along with ghosts, Brown and her half-plutonian puppies battle mechanical sheep gone bad, con artists, sheep-rustlers, and a whole host of new ghosts, including plant ghosts.

DBR Who’s going to like Brown? Is this a YA book or does it go for an older market?
JAC While this book is YA friendly, it’s designed for all ages of ghost and dog story lovers. The first collection has fans of all ages, and I think this one will appeal to a wide audience as well.






Amazon Link: https://www.amazon.com/Brown-Ghost-Hunting-Dog-2/dp/1539180867

Monday, October 10, 2016

Good Eats?

I don't normally review restaurants. I went by Olive Garden just after 11 am today, Monday Oct 10th., while I was doing some other shopping at the Spectrum Mall in Tucson. Since the parking lot was nearly empty I naively assumed I could grab a quick lunch.  I was seated promptly by the hostess--right next to a big group of very loud women. And there I sat and sat and sat.  No one ever came by and offered beverages and acknowledged me, let alone actually take my order  At 25 minutes I got up and walked out the door.  I wonder if they ever noticed I'd left.  

When a restaurant is getting slammed I understand a customer might get lost in the crossfire.  And, as I was by myself, I know I'm a low priority for servers since I'm not as likely to generate much in the way of tips.  But this place was not busy.  Except for the group and a few other tables, the place was empty.  And still I was ignored.  I seriously doubt I'll ever go back there again.  Too bad, as I really like their soup.  





Sunday, October 9, 2016

Hang 'em

I noted some guy was selling hangman's nooses all tied up and ready to go for 35 [approx] bucks. Well, I went down to the local hardware store and bought a dollars worth of rope and tied up my hangman's noose in a couple of minutes.  I'm not going to go into the hangman's biz, but I think that guy seems a tad bit high on his prices.  That knot is simply not that difficult to tie. I'm ready to go with Halloween decorations.




Friday, October 7, 2016

voting rights act

I had a discussion last summer that I was thinking about again as I drifted off from that horrible debate the other night.  This person, Sheila, told me she always votes for the last person in each category, and didn't bother to learn anything about any issue on the ballot.  Apparently,  her father discovered this and is very upset with her. He thinks she should use her sacred right carefully and with due diligence. Frankly, I rather like her approach.  As long as the candidates are selected at random, and they are in most states, then she's leaving to fate who gets elected much as one lets the quick pick computer select one's lottery ticket.  

People can use whatever means they wish to vote even if it's ridiculous.  I asked about propositions. Her answer: she votes yes on everything.  I kind of wish she'd vote no, as most of these propositions that bypass the legislative process give us poorly worded unworkable laws.

Back a few years when I still lived in California I rolled dice to select my ballot choices. I only did it once.  If you try that, mark a sample ballot. Don't make those poor people who have been standing in line wait for you to keep tossing your dice or flipping your coin.

With early mail in voting, I've wondered if people will start selling the right to fill in their ballot. Gee, I wonder what that might be worth.  How do you get Craig's List again? *








*the blog owner is not advocating selling votes, but simply having thoughts about the voting process.




Wednesday, October 5, 2016

Random Thoughts in a Doctor’s Office Exam Room

Hot towels on your neck would be nice.

Also, a comely lass who comes in and gives you a massage would be nice

Might not be profitable, but this would be one hell of a popular doctor

No nice massage girl?  They could send a dog in to play with you whilst you’re waiting.

Monday, October 3, 2016

postage

The mighty US Postal Service has issued a jack o'lantern series of stamps for Halloween. I think they look pretty darn cool. Problem is I use so few stamps I'll be using them in February.


Saturday, October 1, 2016

Halloween Haunts

The Horror Writers Association is, once again, running its Halloween Haunts. This is a feature where you go to their website and can view essays and stories about horror and Halloween.  There will be at least one new posting a day during the month of October.  Best of all, you can win prizes.  And it's all free.  My posting "Your Story Idea is Stupid" is slated for October 16th.