Monday, February 8, 2016

Cereal Abominations

One of the many failures in my life was my inability to market Abominable Cereal. That would have had the Abominable Snowman [Yeti} on the cover and little frosted Abominable Snowmen for kids to eat. It's not easy to make and market food products. Cereals, in particular, are difficult as they are a high volume low margin item.  So, it just never happened.  A lot of people think it's stupid. Stupider than little elves hawking crisp rice?  Stupider than some tiger hawking corn flakes?  Me thinks not.

Yet another cereal I wanted to offer from my nonexistent food empire was Saucer Cereal. This being little silver flying saucers for people to eat and the box would have a silver flying saucer on it.  How can you go wrong with flying saucers?

This wasn't my idea, but another disappointment in the world of cereal was Crusty O's. Back when the Simpsons Movie  came out they converted a handful of 7 Elevens into Kwik E Marts in honor of the film.  And we were promised Radioactive Man comics and Crusty O's cereal.  Well they had so little product the stores sold out in minutes.  I couldn't get my Crusty O's.  Yes, you can sometimes find them on eBay, but I think they're past their shelf life now. I don't know why they were so conservative in their ordering as Simpsons fans still number in the millions.

So I eat my Grape Nuts, often waxing about other cereals that could be in my bowl but are never to be.  

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