Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Lost The Touch

Another April Fools Day came and went and I didn't play any joke on anyone. Not a single one. I guess I've lost yet another skill.

This, from a man who once put a large "Honk if You're Horny" on the back of a big rig driven by a reasonably attractive woman trucker. People were honking at her from Denver to Kansas city and she had no idea why.

This, from a man who once put a fake eviction  notice and padlocked someone's door so when his new love came over for dinner, she walked away thinking he was a deadbeat. 

This, from some man who pushed a car two blocks away (the car was a stick shift, but the driver never sweemed to leave it in gear). After its owner flipped out, then called the cops to report it, pushed it back into position in front of his house. 

This, from some man who kept altering a co-worker's Netflix account so that whatever movies he ordered (before they switched to downloads) it changed to Dr. Who episodes.  He thought some evil fiend kept hacking into his account.  When he called the company to explain that some fiend was changing all of his orders to Dr. Who, listening to him on the phone was so funny another co-worker fell out of his chair because he was laughing so hard.

And there was a co-worker who I told some girl liked him. And I got others to tell him this girl liked him.  And he wouldn't go near her or make any effort to get better aquainted because he was so convinced we were all playing a joke on him.  The joke was, she really did like him and there was no joke at all.

Oh, I thought of a few things. But I didn't bother. They seemed too mean or cruel.  Faking an acceptance from a publisher when it's not really being accepted is too cruel.  Telling somebody they're needed at the hosptital and they rush down there thinking somebody died or something--too cruel. And far too easy. 

So, I sat this year out. But wait for next year.  Just you wait.

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