Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Beans, Beans


Beans, beans, they're good for your heart. Beans, beans, they make you fart... I can't remember the rest of the song.

But I am amazed at how good some varieties of canned beans are nowadays.  Two favorites of mine are K C Masterpiece and Bush's Grilling Beans.  They're tender, well seasoned and quite a nice side dish. So, I ran into a former coworker at the local version of Kroger a few days ago. She was buying dry beans. I myself have cooked dry beans. But they're a lot of work.  When you can just open a can and get really good beans and heat them up in a few minutes, the soaking and cooking for hours just does not seem worth it.  I suggested the canned beans and she looked at me as if I'd suggested she take up commercial burglary. Suit yourself lady. But, when you die and get to the Gates of Heaven and St. Peter asks you, "Why didn't you just buy the canned beans that David told you to get?" Well, remember that moment.  I'm sure they serve canned beans in Heaven. I have no doubt about it at all.

In my meganovel, The Devil Draws Two, there's a monastery and the monks have such good beans that the devil himself actually frequents the monastery. He's not up to any mischief.  He just loves their beans, as he explains to Miles O'Malley, the hero of the story. They don't have good beans to eat in hell for some reason. This of course, was before these really good high quality beans were on the market. 

By the way, if you're prone to gas problems, that Beano stuff really does work. 

Another thing, if you have a dog feed fido your leftover beans, don't throw them out. Dogs just love beans (with the possible exception of the spicy chili beans).  Every dog I've known just couldn't get enough of them. 

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