The Tired Family
Sam Tired The dad, who works as a plumber
Lois Tired: The wife and mother. She works at home taking suicide prevention calls.
Larry Tired: Age 8. The son.
(After a father and son outing, Sam and Larry are on their way home in the family car.)
Sam: That was kind of fun.
Larry: Yeah. Too bad that horse threw the jockey in the fifth. You’d have won the daily double.
Sam: Don’t remind me. You did okay.
Larry: Hundred bucks.
(They pass a new sign by the road. It reads Try Butt Sex)
Larry: Dad, what’s butt sex?
Sam: Uh, that’s when a man sticks his pecker in another man’s butt.
Larry: Why would they do that?
Sam: Uh, I don’t know. Ask your mother.
(Sam is brushing his teeth, getting ready for bed.)
Lois: Sweetie, did you take Sam to the racetrack today?
Sam: Uh, yeah. He did pretty good.
Lois: Do you think that’s what he should be learning? Gambling?
Sam: People gamble. It goes back thousands of years. He might as well learn that now.
Lois: You think so, do you? He asked me something a little while ago. He wanted to know about butt sex.
Sam: Well, kids are curious.
Lois: Where did he hear about butt sex?
Sam: From some sign by the road.
Lois: He’s your son.
Sam: Well, it was either ask you or ask the older boys at school. I’m sure some of them would give him a demonstration.
Lois: So, today he learned about butt sex and gambling. What do you have planned for tomorrow?
Sam: If he knows about butt sex and gambling, my work as his father is done.
(Sam unfolds a blanket on the living room couch. Then tosses some pillows down. Sam lies down and covers up)
Sam: Boy, do I love this couch.
To be continued