Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Authoring

Something happened to me yesterday that I don't recall ever happening before.  I was going into a business and there happens to be a cafe near that business with outdoor seating on the patio. I did a double take as some lady was reading my book.  I don't recall ever seeing someone in public reading anything of mine before. At cons and events, but not in the real world. It was kind of weird.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Korn

I live in a condo. I sometimes wish I had my own yard and could grow stuff.  I do have a couple of planter boxes. I planted corn yesterday. Corn usually does better if you have a whole bunch of it, which I don't. These boxes are better for flowers.  I really like corn.  Time will tell how it will grow and all.

Monday, May 28, 2012

Dinosaurs

I posted a story about a dinosaur park yesterday.  Some may wonder why, especially since I live in Colorado and the park is in New Jersey. Well, I just thought it was a pretty cool concept. I really like dinosaurs. I don't know why, really, as I've never actually seen one. Unless I figure out how to do time travel, I'm not likely to see one.

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Dinosaurz

SECAUCUS, N.J.—A new family attraction featuring more than 30 animatronic dinosaurs opens this holiday weekend on 20 acres of woods and grass in northern New Jersey.
Field Station: Dinosaurs in Secaucus includes a base camp and four learning stations along a three-quarter-mile trail.
Its moving dinosaurs include a 90-foot Argentinosaurus that park operators say will be visible from the Empire State Building in Manhattan, which is about 10 miles away.
The dinosaur attraction was designed in partnership with the New Jersey State Museum. It will be open each year from Memorial Day weekend to mid-November.

people stop to read the information at a display at Field Station Dinosaurs in Secaucus, N.J., Friday, May 25, 2012. There will be 31 types of life-sized dinosaurs displayed at the Jurassic expedition that opens Saturday, May 26. ((AP Photo/Mel Evans))



Okay, caught this in the Denver Post.  Sort of a safe Jurasic Park.  I'd like to build one where the dinosaurs act like dinosaurs and everyone has to run for their lives or get eaten. I love dinosaurs.

Knock out

Bill O'Reilly is an idiot. That shouldn't surprise too many people. He was on  TV a while back promoting his book, Killing Lincoln.  I haven't read the book and have no plans to. My gripe is not about the book, it's about something he said. He told people that all of the amputations during the Civil War were without anaesthesia. That's nonsense. It's a common misconception. Both ether and chloroform were readily available and widely used during the  Civil War. It wasn't a good time to be sick or wounded, without question. Infection and disease were rampant and surgeons were often overwhelmed. There weren't nearly enough of them. But lack of anaesthesia was not a major issue.

Friday, May 25, 2012

Arrrr dog pirates

Arr. If ye be lookin fer some pirate action, my novella, The Pirate Dogs, is now reprinted on Kindle. They haven't seen the light of day in 12 years. They're back and feisty as ever. Just go to Amazon if ye dare!

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Purple Hair

There was this TV show called UFO that was filmed circa 1972. I can't figure out why the women on Moonbase wore purple wigs.  I spent an entire night watching every episode of UFO--every single one. And they never said why the women wear purple wigs on Moonbase. I guess I'll never really know. Back when this show was on, I thought it was about the coolest thing I'd ever seen. I don't think there's ever been a TV show about UFOs, at least not a fiction one.  [The UFO's are really cool looking, too.] 

I guess asking a girl to wear a purple wig on a first date probably isn't a good idea. I wonder if one could even find a purple wig somewhere.    I guess I really need to get a life.  So, I have this sudden urge to open a bar and have all the women who work there wear purple wigs.  Maybe I just figured out the answer to my question.



Monday, May 21, 2012

Sunshine

Yesterday, we had an eclipse. Eclipses are pretty cool, as astronomical events go. I remember back in the old days, I was in the sixth grade and we had a partial one. That would’ve been back in, oh never mind. Anyway, the teachers were all worried we’d fry our eyeballs out and they told us how to make pinhole covers. Well, pinhole covers suck. They don’t work worth a crap. Nowadays, they sell eclipse glasses, but the drugstore ran out before I got around to going to get mine. And, it would be nice if the government would wheel out their solar telescopes so people could look. That ain’t gonna happen. We’re on our own when it comes to eclipses.  That's why lunar eclipses are safer--they're at night.

Speaking of astronomy, I remember I got a telescope when I was a kid for Christmas, around third grade or so.  It didn't work. It was defective. The year before, I'd been given a toy printing press so I could publish my own newsletter. It didn't work either.  They both came from a large retailer and their name is five letters long that starts with an S and end with an S. To this day, I don't like them. They ruined my Christmas, twice. What's this got to do with the eclipse? They were advertising a telescope and it supposedly had a lens for eclipse viewing. I wanted it real bad, but I didn't buy it. I just couldn't.

Oh, the government scopes comment? The government devotes a lot of resources watching the sun. They're terrified a solar flare might shoot out and destroy the Earth. But, do they wheel the telescopes out and let people look at the sun? Hell no. I mean, some colleges did, but not the man. The man doesn't want us to know how scared of the sun they are.

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Philosophy

"Do you ever wonder if they have doughnut shops on other planets?"
Homer Simpson

I think Homer Simpson may be the most brilliant philosopher of all time. Many won't accept his wisdom because he's a cartoon. That's why, say in 10,000 years, long after our civilization has fallen, scholars who don't know what cartoons are will rediscover Homer and revere him along with Aristotle, Confucius, and the like.

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Ice Cream Sorcery

I thought I'd reward myself with a pint of Ben & Jerry's today. I'd been good and I also had a coupon.  So, I went to the store and grabbed a pint of Cherry Garcia [my favorite] and brought it home. When I took it out of the grocery bag, it had turned into Half Baked. I don't like Half Baked. It's just like last week, when my no pulp orange juice turned into extra pulp orange juice when I got home. I don't like pulp, either. I sure don't understand how products I like keep changing into products I'm not all that crazy about. It seems like it happens more and more.

Things in the night

I’ve been thinking about buying a little trailer that I can sleep in if I go fishing or traveling or stuff.

About a year ago, I was eating lunch at the local diner and this lady was talking to the manager of the diner. The lady had gone camping and they’d been kept up by animal noises. Well, turns out she recorded them on her digital camera. There really wasn’t any video as they were inside their "camper." Anyway, she played the noises and said her husband had insisted they were wild pigs. She was having doubts. She asked the diner manager what she thought they were.

The second I heard them, I knew exactly what they were. I went over to her, butting in to the conversation, and said, "Those aren’t pigs. That is a Bigfoot howl."

The look on her face was one of shock, but she knew I was right. Anyway, I’ve heard recordings of Bigfoot howls before and I had no doubt.

So, I saw this trailer with a for sale sign and inquired. It was the lady from the diner. They were selling the trailer because they [she] didn’t want to go camping anymore.

Anyway, I didn’t like the trailer and decided not to buy it.

Friday, May 18, 2012

You decide

The pictures from yesterday's posting were:

The Moon

J. Edgar Hoover

Thursday, May 17, 2012

You decide

Is it Mars or is it the moon? You decide. Maybe I'll tell you in a day or two.
















Is it famed author Edgar Rice Burrows or FBI director J. Edgar Hoover? You decide. Maybe I'll tell you in a day or two.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Mail

It's no secret the US postal system isn't what it used to be.  Last week I mailed a small package to a military APO address using the combined online customs/address format label that has everything on one printed page. [Customs forms are required when mailing to APO addresses]. So, I was amazed when the package was delivered to me Monday. The sorting plant at Grand Junction apparently couldn't read the form that is approved by the USPS and the clerk at the Avon Post Office couldn't read it either, where it says clearly To: and a military address. I was clearly on the from (sender) part.

The window clerk said she'd send it back to the recipient. So, naturally, it turned up again for me at the Avon Post Office again today. Gotta love it!

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

My Foot Hurts

I recently went to Arizona for a few days. On the plane ride back, my foot suddenly started hurting. On the sardine can of an airplane, I couldn't even untie my shoelaces.  Then there's the "He might be a terrorist, kill him," concept thanks to the shoe bomber.  So, when I got out to the car I took my shoes off. This was a tendon type of problem. I've never had it before. Now, after a week, my foot no longer hurts. I don't know what caused it.

The postcards I sent out said "Greeting From Hell on Earth."  We went fishing. It didn't work out so good. And, frankly, the place we stayed at was not very good. I'm not saying where, but my previous post from a few weeks ago might hint.  Anyway, I don't think Arizona has any fish. We've got way more in Colorado.

Monday, May 14, 2012

Skeletons

When I was little I was terrified of skeletons for about a year. It started when I dressed as one for Halloween. There was a point where I had to sleep with a light on. I eventually got over it. I don't know if that's why, but I have never written a story with skeletons in it.  Of course, as horror elements go, skeleton stories are rather lame.  Anyway, I'm much more partial to ghost stories.  But, I found a collection of horror in the library today and it's got multiple skeleton stories.  If I like it, I'll review it later. [I don't bother to review books I don't like].

That got me thinking. Except for lame movies, I don't recall seeing many skeleton stories in books. I've never had one submitted to me for something I was editing.  Well, we'll see if I need to go back to leaving the light on after I get the book read.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Sorry Mom

We thought we were set up for a free day for our Showdown at Midnight anthology [ebook]. Amazon, apparently, had other plans. The free day never happened. That's one of the things about dealing with Amazon--you never really know when something will happen contrary to what you're expecting. And there's never any reason for it. It's kind of like dealing with a multi headed serpent. Anyway, it didn't happen.

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Give Mom Some Western Adventure

Looking for something to give Mom? You can't beat free.  On Mothers' Day, the Kindle Ebook version of Showdown at Midnight, edited by David B. Riley (that's me) is available for download absolutely free. Just go to Amazon.com and click on the book.

Friday, May 11, 2012

Dark Shadows

I seldom review movies. One reason is that I have such eccentric tastes that even the Netflix computer was so confused by my viewing habits that it couldn't figure out what to recommend.  I figure Dark Shadows  may have trouble with the film critics. That's because critics seem to have an obsessive need to label everything. This movie is not the laugh out loud comedy the commercials imply. On the other hand, it's not a heavy duty horror film, either. It's a light hearted fun movie that's visually interesting and fun to watch. So, my advice would be to go and see it and enjoy it and not worry too much about what it's supposed to be.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Happy Trails

One of the most baffling things about publishing stuff is that I never really have any idea why people buy or don't buy something. The past few days there's been a strong surge in sales for Science Fiction Trails 7 in both the USA & UK. I can't find any evidence of a new review about it. It's just selling.  That's a good thing. I just don't know why or if it'll continue or abruptly stop.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Come on by

On Saturday, June 2 I'll be reading from and signing my new anthology, Low Noon: Tales of Horror & Dark Fantasy From the Weird Weird West at Broadway Book Mall in Denver at 2pm. If you're in the Denver area, come on by.  Also present will be three other weird western & steampunk authors. For latest info or directions, the store's website is www.broadwaybookmall.com

Monday, May 7, 2012

Many talents

A lot of people don't realize that famed federal lawman J. Edgar Hoover invented the Hoover vacuum cleaner.