Saturday, January 21, 2017

Syrup

People don't like me. I guess there are a lot of reasons for that. One reason is I don't care for syrup.  Yep, that stuff people put on their pancakes.  I've never really cared for it.  Growing up we had to eat products from one food company my dad worked for. The brand of syrup they sold, well I won't say, but it had a ghastly smell that permeated the entire house. When I was old enough to read the label, I discovered it was only about 5% real syrup. The rest was sugar and "flavorings."  It's those "flavorings" that did me in.  I reached a point where I simply could not stand the smell of it or eat it on waffles or anything else.  

Sure, I've been told that real syrup that's just syrup is good.  I get that.  But I've been conditioned to equate syrup with those horrible Sunday mornings when we had pancakes and bacon and the house stunk of this horrible product I wanted to throw up.  I stopped eating syrup when I got older and realized I could do things like that.  But if I eat pancakes and just put butter on them, people stare at me in horror. If I'm with a group, I'm ridiculed and never invited to anything with syrup again. Relatives are even worse.  Around my uncle [now deceased] or my father, they'd get angry with me in a restaurant if I didn't put syrup on my pancakes or waffles--so I learned to order something that didn't require syrup like oatmeal to avoid the confrontation.  

Flavored pancakes, like blueberry, don't require syrup as you can pour blueberry sauce and get whipped cream on them.  But plain old pancakes, like at a certain chain restaurant over by the university, well that still makes people hate me.  I thought my waitress was going to hit me when I ordered a stack of pancakes and just put butter on them last week.  

This is not the brand we had to eat, it just represents syrup in general. 

Friday, January 20, 2017

Sleep Sound

In just a few hours Donald Trump will be issued his own nuclear codes and some guy from the Pentagon will follow him around with a special briefcase for the next four years.    Sleep sound at night. Sleep Sound.

Thursday, January 19, 2017

Parades

Got a nice response from a science fiction con.  More on that later.  Can't wait for Trump's inaugural. Hah. I didn't vote for him.   It is what it is, but why the blasted parade? I think it's the most ridiculous part of the inauguration.  So we get to see our new president away from the limo?  So what. They should get Alec Baldwin to walk parade as Trump--that would be funny.  At least I think it's funny.  All I have to say today.

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

bar codes?

I keep having dreams about bar codes on fish.  Not sure why.  It's kind of weird.  They're trout, and the bar codes are printed on the side up near their backs.  These look more like the bar codes on mail than the thicker ones you see on store products.  I'm not that into fish, so I don't know what it means. Maybe I'm just nuts. And I mean I'm dreaming about fish in lakes, not in the supermarket.  

Monday, January 16, 2017

Spanish Lessons

We haven't done any Spanish lessons in  while.

Why is there a dead body in my room?
¿Por qué hay un cadáver en mi cuarto?

Do the snakes stop using the pool at 11 also?
¿Las serpientes dejan de usar la piscina a las 11 también?

Satellite phone? I don’t know any satellites.
¿Telefono satelital? No conozco ningún satélite.

My food is disgusting.
Mi comida es asquerosa.

Twinkies.  I need Twinkies.   Where can I purchase Twinkies?
Twinkies. Necesito Twinkies. ¿Dónde puedo comprar Twinkies?

My children are criminals. Do not trust them in your store.
Mis hijos son criminales. No confíes en ellos en tu tienda.

Do mortuaries take dead bodies without any death certificates?
¿Los mortuorios toman cadáveres sin certificados de defunción?

Sunday, January 15, 2017

Money From Rainbows?

This afternoon I saw a rainbow.  My grandmother, who was nuts, used to tell me as a kid to make a wish when you see a rainbow.  That runs counter to the prevailing theory on getting money from rainbows where you have to track down the leprechaun hiding at the end of the blasted thing and steal his gold to get anything.  But, I made a wish anyway.  I figured it couldn't hurt.  I wished for some extra money. Well, I pulled into the grocery store parking lot and, sure enough, I found two pennies lying there.  Uh. Well, technically. But? 



Thursday, January 12, 2017

Best Quotes From Telebision

Best Quotes From Telebision [kind of maybe]

“God, I’m so tired of climbing up and down that ladder.”  Rocky Jones, Space Ranger [look at their ship some time]

“Please someone just shoot me,” Al Bundy, Married With Children

“Whoever assigned me a female yeoman?” Captain Kirk, Star Trek, “Oh God, I’m so horny.”

“Man, you’re messing with my mind,” Erik Estrada guest starring on The Night Stalker.

“Sorry, Mr. Wilson. I know it’s not right to look in people’s windows.  But you’re so hot.” Dennis the Menace.

“I am not a crook,” Our beloved president in the near future on some game show.

“Wish we had black men this hot back home,” Queen Elizabeth II guest hosting Dance Party.

“It’s finger lickin good. And that ain’t chicken. “ Colonel Sanders.