Sunday, May 28, 2017

First expedition, summer

My brother talked me into going along on an expedition out in the forests of eastern Arizona.  So, off we went.  We saw some deer. I got to see a wild turkey.  And, we were amazed to discover there were fish in a stream that we didn't think could possibly be year around.  The fish, we aren't sure what they are. That will require another expedition.  

And the old SUV got a flat tire.  The air pump didn't work.  The can of tire goop was defective.  So we had to go with a donut spare.  Not sure why they call them that.  No bars of service on the old cell phone.  We were out in the sticks.  I guess we could've spent the night and dined on fish stew, but we chose to drive 100 miles on the donut spare to get home.  

Saturday, May 27, 2017

Free Stories

I hope everyone enjoyed the free story   Those are kind of fun to do now and then.  I was hoping to review a few things, but never seem to get those projects finished.  I'll try an review something this weekend.  

I have no personal news to report.  Planning on spending July 4th at Westercon in Phoenix.

Still haven't figured out where my pies went to.  That's all for today.

Friday, May 26, 2017

Thanks, I needed that

Thanks, I Needed That?  A story by David B. Riley

It was a dark and stormy night, except it wasn't really night, more like dusk and the storm had pretty much passed through with just a little remaining wind and some lightning over on Totter Island. I was on duty for the evening shift.  We had all of one reservation at the Millard. .Sounded like a real exciting night.  

Suddenly, a car pulled up to the portico. The door opened and two legs slid out. They went all the way down the the ground.  And the woman they were attached to was absolutely gorgeous. Green eyes that could melt any man’s heart.  And raven hair that was a dark as space itself.  Beam me up.  I’d be spending the rest of my shift making wedding plans.  I wondered if she’d like a massage.

“Porter, Abigail Porter. I have a reservation.”

“I just need a photo ID and a major credit card.”

She handed me both.  A Texan.  We didn’t get many Texans.

“You’re in 108, just down the hall.”

“Could you store this in your safe? She asked. It was a manilla envelope.

“Certainly.” I took the envelope. “Could you write your name on it?”

“That’s not necessary, Mister Campbell. I don’t need it back.”  She started for her car. “Have a nice night.”

“What?” Then I realized. I tore open the envelope.  I was being sued.  She was good. Dang, I'd just been served.  I’d have to add it to the others. No money to pay a lawyer for help.

“When you do this to some poor guy you could at least do him on the hood of your car,” I announced to an empty lobby.

Thursday, May 25, 2017

The pie that never was.

Sometimes, things happen I can't quite figure out.  I went to the store two days ago and bought a pie, amongst other things.  Stores sell pies.  Bakeries do not. We don't have bakeries any more.  Oh, I'm sure there's one filled with mystical delights somewhere on this earth, but I sure never see them.  It's just a department in a grocery store. And that's where my cherry pie came from.  I put it in my cart and wandered around the store in search of other things I didn't really need.  And low and behold, about the time I was going to check out, I noticed my pie was missing.  The milk, and the package of ground beef and the spaghetti saucer were all there, but no such thing as a pie was in my cart. Had someone stolen it?  Can you really steal a pie if it hasn't left the store?  Where had it gone?

I went back over to the bakery section.  I grabbed another cherry pie.  They were on sale for four bucks. How can you go wrong  for four bucks?  And I headed for checkout.  I unloaded my cart on the conveyor belt and the checker rang up my purchase.    The bagger put the stuff in bags and I took it out to my car. When I got home I unloaded.  After putting everything away, I noticed I didn't have a pie.  "How could this be?"  I went out to the car and it was not in my trunk.  It was not to be found. Then I went and checked my receipt, certain the store had stolen my pie.  It wasn't there. I'd taken pies and put them in my cart not once, but twice.  Yet there was no mention of any pie on my receipt. I could not go back to the store and claim they had my pie, or they'd given my pie to another customer. There was no record I'd paid for any pie. 

I didn't have any dessert last night.  That's not such a terrible thing. I often don't eat dessert. But, there was something very depressing about that meal because I couldn't have a slice of pie afterwords.  And I don't know where either pie is.  I hope someone is out there enjoying them.  I guess I'm just a senile crazy old coot who just imagined the pies.  I can't figure where my pies went.  

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

It's garbage

Today is garbage day. The folks come by from the trash company and pick up my can of trash. Then they return a little bit later and pick up my recycling.  In our little gated community most of the residents recycle at least some of their stuff.  we have special recycling cans that are brown, instead of blue, for some reason. Since recycling is included in the price, it's hugely popular.  

Wasn't always that way. Industry didn't want the stuff, save for aluminum cans.  And they wanted you to sort it.  gradually, industry found ways to use recycled materials and curbside no-sort required was much more popular.

One of my first published stories involved the world of garbage.  A trash truck driver becomes obsessed with killing a homeless bum who sleeps in trash dumpsters.  Well, it didn't work out quite like he'd hoped. "I'm not reprinting "Dumpster Man" because there really isn't room for it here.

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Crunch goes the car

Had a car crash yesterday.  I was momentarily distracted when I started violently sneezing.  I tried to avoid the truck that was stopped in traffic and managed to swerve, save for one inch of my mirror. End result truck unharmed and my mirror will cost $200 to get repaired.  Could've been much worse. 

Sunday, May 21, 2017

Fresh Trees

I've mentioned before that I'm trying to grow some shade trees in my back yard.  When I bought the place last year there was nothing in the back yard but a prickly pear plant.  I've planted four ash trees since then.  The trees have been savaged by relentless wind this past spring. They've also been on the menu for the local mule deer.  In spite of that, they're still alive.  Today I thought I'd try my new drip hose and give them a good watering.  I'm also going to deploy some of those plant spikes and see if they do anything for these poor trees.