Monday, March 27, 2017

Elevator Farting

Yesterday's posting raises the question: Why would someone do something as stupid as farting in elevators.  In my case I started doing it in San Francisco when I was in high school.  My friends and I would take BART across the bay and wander around the city. And we started riding elevators in the tall buildings.  Well, I'm not sure how the farting started, but  it did. we refined our technique. To this day I find comfort in farting in elevators. Hate me if you must, but it's that kind of guy I am.

Sunday, March 26, 2017


I’ve talked before about farting in elevators and some do’s and don’t’s.  Well, when I was recently on jury duty I got so bored all I could think of was lunch break.  As soon as the bailiff released us I went to the top floor.  They had like six elevators, no waiting.

Now the key to elevator farting is you cut one at the end of the line when there’s no one else inside.  Then you step out and send the elevator to the far end of the building. So this was going from the 10th floor down ot the ground.  I cut one and sent it away. I knew the lower floors had full elevator cars.  So people would pack in and start wondering who amongst them had farted, not realizing it had come from an unseen enemy on an unseen floor. 

This lept me amused until it was time to back to the courtroom to be told I would not be needed.

Saturday, March 25, 2017


A year ago I still lived in the mountains of Colorado and it was still snowing. Hah! Now I'm in sunny Tucson. That said, I don't know why people garden. If it's for food, a lot of the stuff  we grow can be had cheaper at the grocery story. But there's just something about ruining you clothes and getting dirt in your hair that people can't resist. I've planted trees this spring--not technically a garden. The west side of my house had no shade.  Six trees, two lemon and four ash, and in a few years I may have some serious shade.

But my father just planted tomatoes. He can't wait for vine ripened tomatoes. 

And my brother and his wife, well you can't hardly get into their yard they've got so much stuff growing.

As for me, I stuck with trees because I'm not allowed to have fencing [It's one of our rules]. We've got jackrabbits and mule deer running around looking for gardens to destroy.  So I decided I'd get beans and onions from the store because these horrible mule deer eat darn near everything.

And if you grow strawberries I'll be right over.

Friday, March 24, 2017

It's All My Dad's Fault

A lot of the things that our economy is struggling with are my dad's fault.  Pensions, funding Medicare, lack of housing--these are all my dad's fault. And he freely admits it.  As he was growing up, most men lived into their late fifties or early sixties.  That was it. Then they keeled over and died. This meant pensions only had to cover a few years of payouts.  Yet, there he sits drawing Social Security, drawing a pension, getting his medical bills covered by Medicare and even taking up a house that could be used to house a family just starting out.

All this because he will not die.  He readily admits if he'd die then the strain his generation is causing will go away.  Back in his day doctors didn't worry much about cholesterol, men smoked a lot, and  men dropped dead right where pensions and the government wanted them to.  

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Hot Dog

Ever try and find a hot dog in the grocery store?  I don't like many of the hot dogs that are readily available.  In fact, Boar's Head and Trader Joe's are the only two hot dogs I like.  I'm sure some ball parks and maybe even a few restaurants have decent dogs, but I don't often go to those places.  Costco puts out  hot dog that's edible, but not remarkable.   

Why is that?

I have no idea.

I always thought it would be fun to get the rights to Soylent.  They're the company that, at least in a science fiction movie, make food out of dead people.  I don't want to make food out of dead people, I just wonder if folks would buy something branded Soylent.  I don't think the milennials know what Soylent means. 

Apparently, there is some company marketing some sort of drink under the soylent name.  It's hot dogs, that need to be made out of people.  Well, I mean branded that way. They taste they already are.

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Today is today

Not much going on today.  They take our trash away today and I have to much, thanks to a lot of gardening this past week.

Sunday, March 19, 2017

Wind wind go away

It's been really windy for some reason. I don't like wind.  I find it the most annoying of weather demons. Without wind ran and even snow aren't all that bad--add wind to the mix and it's unbearable. On its own it is still unpleasant.  I bought two trees a couple of days ago. They took some damage as they got knocked over. I placed them in the yard and was going to plant them the next day.  Then the mule deer came by and tried to eat them.  Poor trees probably wish they were still at the nursery.